It's new and it's familiar all at once. I know how to drive, but now I'm driving a car with two steering wheels. It's a new task, one to which I can apply skills I already have...if I'm willing to tweak them, and to be patient with the learning curve.
Getting married older has so many advantages (perhaps more on that another time), but it also has its challenges. Like everything in life. There's a way of living that developed by having only me to take care of, and be responsible for, for all those years. There was a comfort in that. Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy to share my life with someone. I'm ecstatic to have someone to give to. It's just different.
We're born essentially selfish. As a baby, we're conditioned to take, to receive. Our life depends on it. As we become adults we learn how to give and how to help others. We figure out our place in the world. As an older single, we learn how to take care of ourselves. How essential that is. We develop patterns in our lives based around our needs. It is survival.
The longer you do something, the more ingrained it becomes. And so I have to readjust my mirrors and change my seat position. The focus is different. The driving is different.
As I yield, leaning into the turn as the lanes merge, I'm met with a euphoria. Finally, I get to share my ride. It's no longer a lonely bumpy road. It's not a gallop into the sunset either, mind you. It's a lesson in patience, in hard work, emotional work sometimes, but it's worth it.
Ride with me, and we can explore the road together.
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