What If We Stopped Asking And Started Thanking

I once heard a story about a man who was struggling. The advice he received was simple: stop asking and start thanking. He sat down to write a list of everything he was grateful for. Things started to shift for him. Not only did he feel better, his daughters found their shidduchim and his other troubles slowly but surely resolved.


Gratitude lists can be humbling. I’ve tried many times to write down the things I’m thankful for. Sometimes the words spill out easily, and other times I find myself staring at the page, struggling to come up with more than a handful.


But gratitude doesn’t have to be polished or perfect. It can hold both the small joys (coffee, hot showers, hugs from the kiddies) and the deepest gifts (health, resilience, faith, connection). And even then, like Ilu Finu reminds us, if our mouths were as full of song as the sea - water, we still couldn’t capture it all.


If you’ve never written your own, I encourage you to try. Here’s one of mine for inspiration (I wrote the list and used AI to help make it more poetic):



Thank You, Hashem,

for the body You’ve given me —

a mind that remembers, a heart that feels,

eyes that see, ears that hear,

a tongue that tastes, a nose that smells,

lungs that breathe and a heart that pumps,

healthy limbs that carry me,

Energy to keep going and strength to rise up again in the face of challenge.



Thank You for relief from pain,

for modern medicine, cures from ailments, and doctors with wisdom,

for moments without aches,

for the gift of healing.



Thank You for the soul within me —

compassion, empathy, resilience, fortitude,

the courage to be vulnerable,

The sense of self, esteem, and confidence I have,

the ability to dream, to create, to draw, to write,

to cook, to host, to decorate, to influence for the good.



Thank You for laughter and tears,

for the ability to feel joy, contentment, overflowing love,

for the power to learn from mistakes,

for the wisdom to know what is real,

for faith that pulls me through

and the hugs You send in the darkest times.



Thank You for Shabbos, for Yiddishkeit,

for connection, for hope,

for Olam Habaa to work toward,

for sunlight that wakes us, warms us, brightens us.



Thank You for the blessings of family —

for a husband, for children,

for pregnancies that brought them safely into this world,

for their health, their light, their laughter, their hugs,

for full-heart moments that take my breath away.

For my parents, my sisters (and brothers), my mother-in-law, other in-laws, family.

For friends, clients who trust me, neighbors/community,

for family who babysit and love my kids like their own,

for kindness from strangers,

for people who believe in me.



Thank You for shelter —

a house, a cozy bed, fluffy pillows,

fresh laundry, AC/heating that works,

a working washing machine/dryer, dishwasher,

a rainfall shower, a jetted jacuzzi.



Thank You for food and variety of tastes—

for pizza, ice cream, the smell of toasted bagels,

the smell of baking/baked goods,

for colors on my plate and variety of flavors,

for water when thirsty,

for feeling satiated and renewed energy from every bite of food.



Thank You for nature and the wide world —

for stunning oceans and coral reefs,

for snorkeling in clear waters,

for insane sunsets and twinkling stars,

for mountains, rivers, untouched snow,

for the sound of waves on the shore,

for wonders too many to count.

For travel I’ve gotten to do — Aruba, Bahamas, Bermuda, Cancun, Puerto Rico, San Diego,

for the calm the beach brings,

for the joy of swimming, the thrill of being on open water.



Thank You for moments —

birthdays, anniversaries, simchas,

first steps, first teeth, first celebrations.

For kisses/hugs from my kids, for music that stirs the soul,

for laughter that bubbles up,

for sleep/ability to feel rested when tired,

for caffeine when I must keep going.



Thank You for the miracle of birth,

for the chance to hold a newborn,

for the miracle and opportunity of life itself.



And still,

if my mouth were as full of song as the water in the sea,

my tongue as full of praise as its countless waves,

my lips as full of thanks as the wide skies,

my eyes as radiant as the sun and moon,

my hands as outstretched as eagles’ wings,

my feet as swift as deer —

I could not thank You enough

for even one moment of Your generosity.